England May & June 2000
Travel Log by Pooch and Star

Day One - Tuesday May 23 through Wednesday May 24

We started our journey May 23 at 4:30pm. After an uneventful flight to St. Louis, we embarked on a long, long, long, flight across the pond to Gattwick, England (TWA flies direct from St. Louis). We arrived a little early (just after 9:00 am on Wednesday (bonus points for those of you who can figure out just how long that flight was...) and proceeded on to the rental agency. We managed to negotiate customs with very little difficulty. Okay, there wasn't anyone there. We did get our passports stamped but no one seemed very interested in checking to see what we were bringing into the country (sweet pickles, Converse High Tops, and two smelly Americans). At the EuroCar desk we took possession of our high performance Fiat Punto and proceeded to brave the wrong side drivers in an effort to find the Travel Inn of Woking. Instead we wound up at Barbara and Jim's bemoaning the lack of real intersections in this country. They were able to direct us to the hotel, the clerk of which was apalled that we wished to check in earlier than 2:30pm. Instead we wandered to an ATM and began the process of emptying our plump American bank accounts into pretty, colorful Monopoly money. After some food at Mr. Cod (authentic fish and chips for our first meal in England) we got settled, got showered, got ourselves back to Barbara and Jim's (hereafter referred to as the flat) where the drinking began with a couple of bottles of wine (Star was bitter over being designated driver and not being able to have any so we stopped at the hotel bar on the way back and knocked back a drink before crashing.)

Major day one notes: make prior arrangements if you wish to check in before early afternoon at English hotels, don't count on their being a phone in your room, and realize that English pubs don't have limes...

Day Two - Thursday May 25

Emergency Pop Tart rations came in handy as we missed the English breakfast served at the hotel. So fortified we began the house hunting activities at a quaint little property known as Hampton Court. For those of you unknowledgeable in the ways of English royal abodes this was home to several of England's monarchs including Henry VIII and William III (his wife Mary died before their quarters were completed). The guided tour could be passed on but the audio tour (free with admission!) was exceptional. Most amazing sight of the day was the palace Vine. Yes, that's with a capital V. The vine has its own lawn for its root structure while the entire above ground portion is in a greenhouse. Star and I got lost in the palace maze and burned through the first of many rolls of film. All in all the court makes a great day trip and is well worth seeing.

Back to Woking for dinner with the masses that were descending upon the flat - Indian food was ordered in and then ordered again as more people arrived (including Barb who was late getting home from work).

Day two notes: if you plan on spending more than a day or two site seeing in England get the English Heritage Membership at the first site you visit. All other English Heritage sites are then free.

Day Three - Friday May 26

English breakfast at the hotel (cold cereal, eggs, fried tomato, a sausage, a rasher of bacon and all the toast you can eat). Afterwards we went in search of real coffee, having grown tired of instant. We wound up in Guildford before turning around in failure. Star then embarked upon another bold task. This time with her faithful sidekick Erin. The boldly ventured out to rescue Meredith and Ila from the confines of Heathrow Airport. Several hours of waiting in the coffee bar (she finely got some) the plane arrived and they made their way back to Woking. Barb kicked everyone out of the flat and sent us off to the local pub in preparation for the night of pre-nuptial debauchery which the English refer to as the Hen and Bull parties. We opted out and decided to investigate the local Burger King (same stuff, slightly different names, more expensive) so that we could meet up with Nickie, Toni, David and friends at our hotel bar (online friends local to England). Several drinks and every appetizer in the pub later (they'd been on the road without food for many hours) Star and I staggered across the parking lot and fell into bed.

Day three notes: make sure you have both a current adapter and outlet adapter for your electrical appliances and if you plan on doing any modem work make sure you get a phone cord adapter as well since their wall jacks don't look like ours.

Day Four - Saturday May 27

Met up with a bunch of hung over Hen and Bull partiers at the Woking tube station and boarded a chartered bus (kewl idea from B&J) out to Stonehenge (mandatory tourist site) and Salisbury. While at Stonehenge we had our first real taste of the mecurial English weather as we experienced drizzle, rain, hail, and sun. All occured within the hour we were there. We lunched at a little cafe in the Salibury Cathedral Close which was quite yummy, so much so that we didn't have room for dessert. Fortunately we were able to walk off some of those calories by wandering the Salibury Cathedral as part of one of the official tours. We would have loved to have had more time there as every little nook and cranny was filled with interesting stuff. Off the cloister is one of the surviving copies of the original Magna Carta (partial predecessor to the US Constitution). On the way back to Woking the previous night's revellers took a much needed opportunity to collapse into sleep before the rehearsal dinner (picture) which consisted of heaping tons of Indian food and all of the restaurant's bottled water.

After the dinner we did what any self respecting English person would do. We wandered off to a pub to drink. Star partook of a "Shandy" which in English is either lager or bitter and lemonade. In American that would be Bud and 7-Up. She insists they are quite drinkable. Pooch stuck to cider (preference order: Scrumpie Jack, Strongbow, Blackthorne). Someone got the idea to write messages on the palms of people's hands and we flashed each other hand signals for much of the evening all the while giving the Brits an amusing show (ask us about Stoolhenge).

Day four notes: if you build a cathedral on watery ground, don't try to drain the ground later! Brits don't drink Iced Tea. To get it you have to order a glass of ice and some hot tea. Don't order them both yourself or they'll figure it out and give you dirty looks.

Day Five - Sunday May 28

Wedding Day! Forget the English breakfast. Star and I struck gold with the Cafe Americano in the Peacocks mall in Woking. Bagels and real coffee were never so welcome. A quick zip over to the flat to pick up directions and the Bovomancer and her hubby and we were on our way to the bar... uh, that is, the wedding and the Bookham Grange Hotel (its near Dorking, no really it is). We discovered that this was a fancy hotel since we were able to check in before 2 and it had a phone in the room. The wedding started promptly at 3:00 which meant there was ample time to start on the bar tab. Barb was stunningly gorgeous and the weather cooperated with being sunny for the outside pictures. This only served to further confuse the photographer that was having trouble grappling (no, not literally) with a female best man and a male maid of honor. The ceremony was followed by additional drinking which was kicked into high gear after Barb informed us that we were barely through 1/3 of the tab and that we had better start drinking like English folk. Dinner followed soon after along with a round of tale telling and toasts. The prohibition against embarassing Barb necessarily limited the tales told but the truth did come out in a series of more personal tales told later around more glasses of ale and cider. Star's toast to the bride and groom follows:

I've known Barbara through some of the best and worst times of our lives. She has been my friend, my enemy, sometimes a stranger and sometimes a daughter. Through all of these changes we've learned how important love and communication are to any relationship and that only fills me with hope for the success of her marriage with Jim. Although I don't know Jim as well, I was able to grill him on my trip to Texas. I bet he will never let himself be stuck alone in a car with me again. I still don't know about this kidnapping her and taking her across the ocean but I do have every confidence that he will take good care of our Barbara. Here is to the bride and groom -- blessed be your years together.

At last call we were down to 50£ on the bar tab and through a heroic effort on the part of guests who remained standing we were able to finish it off. Once again Star proved herself dangerous when drunk by attempting the Limbo contest against a bunch of far more experienced English limbo dancers. Final credit did go to the Americans as Janet (the best man) pulled out the win. We crawled upstairs after the hotel staff shut us down and began the process of sleeping off the effects of the day's alcohol consumption.

Day five notes: the British do not understand the purpose of a wake up call after the last serving of breakfast.

Day six - Monday May 29

Up bright and early to have breakfast with the newlyweds and some of the left over guest who were too intoxicated to take a taxi home the night before (mostly Brits). Drove to Wimbledon. More kudos to the fantastic navigational prowess of Pooch and the incomprable driving acumen of Star. We arrived at Rich's flat, (Rich's Photos) waltzed down to the tube station, tubed down to London and spent the rest of the day at the British Museum. We ran into several of the other wedding guests there and provided them with much needed Advil relief. Our general impression of the British Museum is that there's a lot of old stuff there. We're talking real old. We kept turning the corner and finding older and older stuff. I think the winning piece was in the ancient Iran collection weighing in at just over 6 thousand years old. Yowza. Best quote of the visit was courtesy of Star: "How come so much of the Greek Parthenon is here in London?" Met up with Rich once the museum kicked us out and had an authentic English dinner at the Sherlock Holmes Tavern. Bubble and Squeek for an appetizer (mashed potatos and cabbage), Toad in the Hole for Pooch and a variety of yummy desserts and although we never did learn what a Spotted Dick was we did have the pleasure of sampling a chocolate Lumpy Bumpy.

Day six notes: scheduling an early breakfast with the bride and groom the day after an English wedding may sound like a grand idea the night before. It isn't! For visiting the British Museum one should really schedule a several day jaunt. If you are limited in how long you can spend there be sure to select what exhibits you want to see and stick to your plan. Its easy to get caught wandering around with awe in this place. Don't miss the Egyptian mummy exhibit and the collection of ancient statuary and the Rosetta Stone.

Day seven - Tuesday May 30

We weaved through London to get to the A4 and made our way to Avebury: the largest circle of standing stones in England. Prior to getting there we stopped off for a look at Silbury Hill which is the largest prehistoric, artificial mound in Europe. We snapped a couple of photos and moved on to Avebury. We wandered amongst the town, the stones, the sheep and eventually had lunch at the Red Lion, a pub in the town. While in Avebury we stopped at the Alexander Keiller Museum which provides a nice albeit small overview of the site. We continued our journey to Glastonbury, taking short detours to see two of the famed white chalk horses. We were able to find the Cherwick horse in short order and after some wandering found the horse at Bratton where we were able to get up close and actually touch it. Later that day we wound up at the Little Orchard B&B in Glastonbury and were warmly welcomed by Rodney (one of the proprieters) - a definitely nice B&B that we certainly recommend to other travelers. On Rodney's recommendation we had dinner at the Mitre Pub which had wonderful desserts. The Mitre also demonstrated a uniquely English tradition - having dogs in the pub. Its a bizarre experience to occasionally here the woof of some hound while you are knocking back a few pints. Bedtime brought us the amusing sight of Rich crawling into the lower bunk of the bunkbeds in our room...

Day seven notes: sometimes the best B&B's are found by chance. Actually if you don't have a personal recommendation for a B&B you might as well just drive around till you find one that looks interesting and try that one. As a general practice, finding a B&B and then wandering a town before seeing the sites the next day is a good idea. It lets you get a feel for where everything is and makes it easier to schedule and plan your site seeing.

Day eight - Wednesday May 31

The morning started with a fantastic view of the the mists of Avalon. Glastonbury is surrounded by a wide valley (a "vale") that fills with fog in the early morning making it seem like an island shrouded in mists. We fortified ourselves with an authentic English breakfast (our table of 4 was rounded out by an actual Englishman, complete with Ascot and "interesting" views on England's former African colonies). First up on the schedule was making the climb up Glastonbury Tor, dodging cow and sheep dung along the way. The view from the top of the Tor is fantastic. We took the back way down the Tor and made our way to the remains of Glastonbury Abbey-oldest above ground Christian church in England. Interesting sites at the Abbey include a thorn bush supposedly grown from Joseph of Arimathea's staff and the presumed burial spot of Arthur. On the way back toward the B&B we spent an hour or so at the Chalice Well (the hiding spot for the Grail). Several sips of the waters from the well and we were feeling much refreshed. Star and I seem to have found one of the few spots that we can honestly hold as special to both our faiths. Back to the car, and on the recommendation of Rodney, we travelled to Wells (only about 10 minutes outside of Glastonbury). Wells is the smallest city in England and is home to a Cathedral which houses the oldest clock face in Europe (the oldest mechnical clock is in the Cathedral at Salisbury but it has no face). The cathedral is gorgeous with the special added attraction of the scissor arches that were installed to transfer weight from one half of the cathedral (on soft ground) to the solid ground on the other side. We peeked in at the residence of the Bishop of Bath andWells which has an actual moat and mute swans which ring a small bell on the side of the wall to inform their keepers that they are hungry. We opted not to pay the entrance fee and get on our way since Tintagel was still a ways off.

The journey to Tintagel was amusing. The roads got narrower and the hedges got taller the further out on the Cornish coast we got. To keep the navigator (Rich) and driver (Star) happy, food in the form of bread and cheese from Glastonbury and fudge from Wells was passed up from the back seat. We got into Tintagel fairly late and had to make a quick decision of B&B for the evening. We wound up at the Wharncilffe Arms which while serviceable is probably not the best choice. It was certainly better than much more expensive choice of the King Arthur Camelot Hotel which comes with the tacky Excali-Bar. Pooch's choice of reading material was ill considered. We were at a small, isolated village on a desolate coastline with the remains of blackened ruins in sight. The weather was dreary, the window kept tapping in the sill all night long, the population displayed that distinctive "Innsmouth look" -- a perfect setting to be reading the Encylopedia Cthutheia. Despite the late hour we were able to get dinner at the Exalibur restaurant (not the bar, nor the burger joint which specialized in Excaliburgers) and wander the town enough to get our bearings. Time for sleep (or merely watchful, paranoid rest in Pooch's case).

Day eight notes: Travel with yummy foods from local shops but make sure everyone in the vehicle can put up with stinky blue cheeses. Read bottle labels carefully. You'll want to look for "still water" on your bottled water unless you like the carbonated kind. Most important lesson learned was that you should listen to locals about nearby sites. It would have been a shame to miss Wells and we would have except for Rodney. Also, if you want a choice for dinner you should plan on making it to your destination before 8pm.

Day nine - Thursday June 1st

We apologized to Rich who had to wait for nearly an hour while we got ready. Fortunately he was able to talk the staff into providing him breakfast while he waited. We hiked down to the ruins and had to wait a bit for them to open. We entertained ourselves by staring at the gorgeous Cornish coast and the crashing waves. Once open for visitors, we climbed across to Tintagel itself. Star, being a wee bit frightened of heights, was a real trooper and managed to make most of the site. Rich and Pooch clambored over everything and journeyed into the caves on the beach below the castle. The castle is slowly but surely falling off the cliffsides and into the ocean. Its a race to see if that will occur before the erosion of the caves takes down the entire promintary. Tintagel castle is very impressive and well worth the journey. On the other hand, the ultimate in touristy, tacky sites was the "King Arthur Experience". This featured a silly laser squiggle, that we think was supposed to represent the spirit of Merlin, narrarating the story of Arthur. It was followed up by an exhibit in the great hall which included a mock up of a round table and a wooden throne. For just a small fee (okay, its 40£) you too can join the Fellowship of the Knights of the Round Table. Near as I can tell it entitles you to free access to the "King Arthur Experience" and maybe lets you operate the laser squiggle. Best part of the exhibit was scoring a postcard with a sheep on it to send home to Pooch's mom.

At that point we began our return trek to Wimbledon by way of Drozmary Pool (the pool at which Bedivere returned Excalibur to the Lady of the Lake). On the way we did note that a small group of sheep was attempting to break out and make their way to freedom. Seeing a sheep perched atop a hedge row is a pretty amusing site. We missed the turnoff to Bath so ended up eating dinner in Hungerford which has little of note except a pub keeper that mistook Pooch for a vegetarian (must be the long hair).

Day nine notes: bring hiking boots for treking around ruins - ankle support is crucial. Its not a real vacation unless you do at least one super tacky tourist trap -- just try to keep it to only one. Tintagel is a little far to drive in one day especially with only a single driver. As far as road routes go, it is definitely worth your while to go a little out of your way to find the "M" roads.

Day ten - Friday June 2nd

We slept in, until the electrician arrived at 7:30am. **YAWN** Fortunately Rich's flat is only about a block away from a Starbucks. A couple of Caramal Macchiattos and showers and we were ready to have lunch (Thai). So we got a somewhat later start on the day than we had originally planned. We decided to spend the remainder of the day at the Imperial War Museum which features walk throughs of WW I trenches and the WW II blitz. We went to Old Orleans (a chain restaurant specializing in cajun cooking) to eat and drink. Star was very glad to not be driving and could participate in the the drinking portion of the festivities. We journeyed back to Wimbledon just in time to make last call at the Pitcher and Piano (Rich's favorite pub which happens to be within stumbling distance - literally - from his flat). Rich and Pooch had Scrumpie Jack ciders which are pretty wonderful things but incredibly potent. Star had some coke colored Rum. She'd actually ordered a Rum and Coke but the were gracious with the rum and stingy with the soda.

Day ten notes: tipping is generally not done in pubs or in the London environs however, Rich's habit of tipping at the Pitcher and Piano is most likely the explanation for our excellent service (as well as the strength of Star's drink).

Day eleven - Saturday June 3rd

Did you know that the Tower of London isn't just a single building? The Tower is a large complex of buildings, each with its own story and things to see. The central building is the White Tower which currently displays the Doomesday Book in a special exhibit. Also present are scenes from the various lives of the tower including various forms of armouries. Of course any visit to the Tower isn't complete without a visit to the Crown Jewels. Big, big baubles aplenty! One of the side towers has a display of scavenged crowns and DeBeers gratiously lent several piles (literally) of diamonds to the display to give everyone an idea of just how many it takes to make a royal crown. Also present are the quarters of Sir Walter Raleigh (held captive at the Tower for thirteen years). The monarchy seemed safe from collapse as the ravens of the tower were clearly in residence - one even posed for Star. An additional tower recreates a medieval palace complete with throne room. Other sites there included the remains of an old roman wall, traitor's gate, and the restored Chapel Royal of St. Peter Ad Vincula (which is open to the public for worship services every Sunday).

We walked over the Tower Bridge to get to our next stop but we missed the Museum of Tea and Coffee but after peering in the windows we were satisfied that it probably wasn't worth the 4£ admission fee - maybe for Tea afficionados but not for us Yankee coffee snobs. From there we walked along the Thames, past the HMS Belfast and the restored Golden Hind - hard to believe someone could have sailed around the world in something that looks so small and flimsy. We arrived at the restoration of the Globe theater fully intent on snapping some photos since our attempts earlier to get tickets to a play had failed. However, we discoved the "Returns" line and decided to wait it out. About 5 minutes prior to the show we landed groundling tickets (after having passed on several offers of box seats for 26£ each). While true, you have to stand as a groundling the novelty of having to move your arms off the stage to allow the actors to walk past is well worth it. The performance of Hamlet was quite good, quite entertaining and being at the Globe just made it all the more special. We caught the last train back and made it home just in time to keep Rich from calling Scotland Yard to go find the two lost Americans.

Day eleven notes: you can get tickets to the Tower of London at the Tower tube station. Do so, it will save you probably about an hour waiting in line to get them at the Tower itself. Try to get tickets to the Globe early (2 months in advance or more) but don't despair if you don't get them. An hour long wait in the returns line is well worth the opportunity to see Shakespeare at the Globe.

Day twelve - Sunday June 4th

Option one was to wake up early and make it to Westminster Abbey for morning services. We slept in and then had brunch with Rich at the Pitcher and Piano. Then we began our whirlwind tour of the sites of London. We started by navigating the London public transit system since we took a bus, a commuter train, and the tube to get to our starting point: Westminster Cathedral. This is London's Catholic Cathedral and it was very, strikingly impressive even to a non-Catholic. From there we went to Buckingham Palace and were very thankful that we'd decided to come on Sunday and miss all the crowds from the previous day. We meandered over to Westminster Abbey but were unable to enter because of services. We were able to see the nave and cloister which includes a couple of minor museums including the onetime storehouse for the Royal Treasury. After Westminster we made our way past the houses of parliament and Big Ben (got to hear it chime on the hour at both 3 and 4 pm). We walked up Whitehall and saw the Horseguards, the Ministry of Defense (big statue of Field Marshal Montgomery out front), #10 Downing, the Banqueting Hall etc. and wound up at Trafalger Square. Pooch wanted to do some last minute shopping and Star wanted some coffee so we made our way to Covent Garden (saw the street performers - kewl). We met Barb, Jim and Chandler at Leicester Square and journeyed to Chinatown for dinner. Walked off the yummy Korean food including a side trip to Soho (their sex shops are licensed...), said our goodbyes and made our way back to Wimbledon (one train ride this time). We grabbed Rich and treated him to a last Scrumpie Jack at the Pitcher and Piano and then began preparations for the return to the States.

Day twelve notes: If you wish to see the insides of Westminster Abbey don't go on a Sunday. We decided that we needed to come back to England and set aside at least a week just for the sites in and around London proper.

Day thirteen - Monday June 5th (back to the colonies)

Got up too early (bad combination of an alarm and the scrumpie jack from the previous night). Drove to the airport and returned the car. We managed to get the car to the rental agency as opposed to the panicked gentleman who was about to miss his flight so dropped the car off at departures and basically threw the keys at the customer service agent for the car rental... We're thinking he might have had a few "extra" fees tacked on to his charges. We just missed the fire in the international departures terminal but that did mean that we had long lines and much extra security to get through. We had passports checked by three different people and Star's purse was thoroughly checked (every last nook and cranny was poked and inspected). Waiting for the flight was made easier by the access to the international duty free shopping mall where you have to show you tickets for any purchase you make. This applied equally to the issue of the Daily Sport, the bottle of 10 year old Ardbeg, and the two bottles of water we purchased. We had an "american" breakfast at the terminal restaurant. It wasn't quite how we remembered american breakfasts but we were just happy to be able to get refills on our coffees. We burned our last few pence on a couple of chocolate bars and a coke and then hopped our flight: same model of plane, different seating configuration, much less comfortable than the flight out. Made it safely to St. Louis, made it through customs and boarded our flight to KC. On the runway we performed a neat pirouette and returned to the gate to remedy a "situation" that had arisen. At the gate a young couple was escorted off the plane just as a police car with lights flashing pulled up at the gate. The young lady returned to the plane to collect their carry on luggage while the baggage handlers ransacked the cargo hold to remove their checked baggage. We then continued on our way -- no explanations provided. Needless to say we arrived a little late but Jack and Trace were dutifully awaiting our arrival. We got home, ordered some American pizza, played a bunch with our kitty and then collapsed into an exhausted sleep. End of journey.

Day thirteen notes: before getting to the airport find out if your airline is in the North or South terminal. Its an excellent idea to give oneself an extra day to recover from the flight and time difference on the way back. Have someone else pick you up from the airport if you've been driving in England; the adjustment back to the right side of the road is more difficult than one might expect. Above all else - if you have the opportunity to go make sure you take it.

Last note: make sure you find some place that does a good job of developing film and get either a coupon or ask for a volume discount. You will wind up with just a few photos from your trip (we ended up with slightly over 10 rolls for well over 300 photos).

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